Monday, October 5, 2009

Almost Full Circle

I didn’t feel like a princess and I sure as hell didn’t look like one either.

Decked out in two arm bands, one knee band, a visor with dangling iPod wires, and mismatched athletic gear, I looked like a schizophrenic jogger. I didn’t have the look of a svelte runner nor did I look like the type of girl who would glisten.

At the 1st Annual Disney Princess Half-Marathon, I looked like what I was: a 30-year-old sweaty mess of an aging athlete who had gotten herself into something she couldn’t back out of.

But I did it. All 13.1 miles of it in the exact time I was aiming for.

It’s been seven months since that race, and somehow the time to recap the events escaped me, but this weekend I found myself thinking back to that dark, cold morning when I stood with over 6,000 fellow women waiting for their moment in the sun… both figuratively and literally.

We all gathered in the parking lot outside of EPCOT, stretching out our legs and our nerves. We were women from very different backgrounds who had embraced this challenge and made it our own.

When we crossed the starting line with the sun just beginning to light the distant reaches of the sky, we set our individual paces and started counting down the miles.

The first two miles flew by with Dusty at my side, but when I could sense that she had more in her tank than I did, I told her to keep on going and I wouldn’t be far behind.

I spent the next two miles watching the sky grow pink and stared in awe as I ran by the gates to the Magic Kingdom, a stretch we had driven on just the day before.

As I approached a turn just before Mile 4, I saw Dusty ahead. I was close enough to yell her name and see her wave, but far enough back that I wouldn’t be able to catch up. Something told me though that I might catch a glimpse of Izzie on that very same turn, and sure enough I looked back and spotted her green fleece in the crowd.

In a matter of minutes, we were running side by side. Together we watched as Cinderella’s Castle came into view, knowing that we were almost at the midpoint of this incredible journey. We passed Meaks with the trusty race tambourine, which fueled us for several more footfalls. And when we rounded the corner of Main Street, our eyes beheld a most uplifting site. Lined up on either side of the course were the Disney cast members, clapping, cheering, smiling. As we wound our way up the incline towards the castle, it was as if the pain in our legs just melted away. The adrenaline and excitement of running through the Magic Kingdom was second to none, and it made us believe that we were really going to do the impossible.

The further we got from the Magic Kingdom, the greater our awareness became of the pain coursing through our legs, but Izzie and I pushed on, urging each other to fight through the aching for just one more mile and then another one and then another one. At Mile 10, we spurred ourselves onward by saying we had the equivalent of one of our lunchtime runs left. Images of the Mt.Vernon Trail flickered in my mind… the airport fence, the port-o-potties, the river, the mile marker, the rusty bridge, the 14th Street Bridge, and back. Somehow the remaining distance didn’t seem so daunting anymore.

And then when the marker for Mile 12 came into view with the EPCOT sphere just beyond it, our energy reserves kicked in. One more mile to go. We were actually going to do this!

That last mile felt like the longest mile, with well-intentioned people telling us, “One more turn,” when in fact it was much more than that. But finally, there really was just one more turn and we could hear the sounds of the finish line ahead.

As we ran towards that pink banner that hung above the finish line, the banner adorned with images of Cinderella, I’d like to say I fully appreciated the moment, but the only thoughts going through my mind were simple ones. In just a few yards, I could finally rest my weary knees and I could finally let out a deep sigh of relief.

But when Izzie and I were reunited with our fellow princesses, Hoops, Cheesus, J-Woo, Kimpossible, and Dusty, the moment was magical and intoxicating. When I had started the journey, I thought it would be just a one-time thing, but as I stood with my dear friends near the finish line, I knew it was just the beginning.

And it wasn't long after that when I set a new goal.

* * * * * * *

It was all supposed to come full circle yesterday. I was supposed to run the very race where this whole crazy scheme had first been hatched. I was supposed to rise early to compete in the 25th Annual Army Ten-Miler, but a not-so-funny thing happened on the way to the finish line.

I lost the drive.

I took a hiatus after the run at Disney World, but promised myself I’d get back on track. When I ran the Race For The Cure, that was supposed to kick-start the training again. Then I was going to wait until after my vacation. When I was seven weeks out, I knew I still had enough time to prepare.

But suddenly I found myself confronted with a decision on the night before the race: do what was best for my mind or what was best for my body. With great regret, I chose the latter. I hadn't ventured out in a month, and even then, it was only four miles. Physically I just wasn’t ready.

So what would have been the poetic book-end of a year of running turned into a quiet morning of reflection about the ebb and flow of dedication.

Now the half-marathon almost feels like a dream, but I want to have that dream again. Maybe the Army Ten-Miler wasn’t meant to be a book-end. Maybe it’s always supposed to be the motivator I need to lace up my sneakers and get back out there.

And maybe the circle wasn’t meant to close yet because there are still other races to be run.

2 comments:

Adrienne said...

Do the IronGirl with me next summer! Registration opens Nov. 3!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

jmeadows said...

I at least know about trying to get into the habit again. I've been swearing to myself that I was going back to the gym for three weeks now. Once I get in the habit, I'm good, but until then...

I definitely need to just get in shape before I start MY running. I dread it.