Monday, April 30, 2007

Who's The Fairest Of Them All

I received an interesting email over the weekend from a friend who was watching Brady Quinn’s stock value plummet faster than The View’s ratings without Rosie O’Donnell. Having no inherited sports allegiances, she found herself drawn to Quinn for his athleticism, his intellect, his presence, and yes, his hotness. We may not be able to agree on whether he can run with the big dogs in the NFL, but we can all agree that Quinn is an attractive guy. So the question she raised was this: Is it wrong to pledge allegiance to a team because you find a player cute?

Well, it’s almost like asking if it’s wrong to marry someone because they’re cute. Odds are, the physical attractiveness is what caught your attention, but if you don’t dig beneath the surface, then you’re in for a very shallow love affair. The same is true for picking your players based on looks. It can be done, but you have to be ready to commit to the player and the team. Know the stats. Know the quirks. You cannot expect to garner respect among your peers if you can’t think of any factoid other than what hair gel the player uses.

I don’t think choosing a player based on attributes other than statistics is an exclusively female phenomenon, and rather I think it’s all about forming a connection. I have a friend who roots for the Pittsburgh Pirates because when he was growing up, he loved Barry Bonds. When Barry left town, the allegiance stuck, and there are plenty of examples like that with people who love the Bulls because of Michael Jordan or the Redskins because of Joe Theismann. As fans, we want to feel like we’re part of the action, so we’ll look for any little quality that will endear a player and a team to our hearts, and it doesn’t matter if it’s how attractive a player is, where he hails from, or whether Frosted Flakes is his cereal of choice.

With all of that said, I will leave my friend with one caveat in her desire to follow Brady Quinn and the Browns. In the deep recesses of a closet in my parents’ house lies a Vikings ballcap. I am not from Minnesota, I have never been to Minnesota, I don’t know that I will ever go to Minnesota, but once upon a time, my favorite college football player, a quarterback who made a 13-year-old girl’s heart go pitter-patter, walked away with the Heisman Trophy and a seventh-round selection by the Minnesota Vikings. Yes, I was a Gino Torretta fan, and when I saw where he landed, I decided to renounce my inherited allegiance to the Dolphins in favor of becoming an ardent supporter of the Vikings. But when the season rolled around, I couldn’t commit to the Vikings. Maybe it’s because Gino rarely played, maybe it was because our cable package didn’t include the German football league he eventually signed with, maybe there just wasn’t enough beneath the surface to hold onto. Maybe if his career had been different, the Vikings allegiance would have stuck, but before running out to buy Quinn's Cleveland jersey, it's probably a good idea to make sure he'll stick in the NFL.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Chick Chapeaux

On a chilly night at Camden Yards when the most memorable moments should have been...

... standing so close to Jonathan Papelbon that I could have touched him...

... being so cold that I had to have a conversation with a merchandise vendor explaining that I wanted to buy socks and not Sox gear...

... watching the O’s taunt Red Sox fans with the opening strains of “Sweet Caroline” only to have it come to a screeching halt with a giant Jumbotron graphic, “NOT!”...

... and jumping up with absolute euphoria as Wily Mo Pena took the pitcher yard with a grand slam in the top of the 8th...

I was forced to deal with the one thing that trumped all of them in my memory bank:

The pink hat.

When my friend Izzie and I arrived at the ballpark, we made a beeline down to the left field wall to catch a glimpse of the Red Sox during warm-ups. A girl to our left immediately struck up a conversation with us, gushing over the fact that we were mere inches away from the players. She was wearing a pink hat, a Forever 21 choker, two tank tops and a hoodie, and glitter eyeshadow. She was exactly the type of girl I have railed against before… the girl who thinks she has to wear pink and be glam at the ballpark. But then something strange happened… the more she talked, the more I realized she was the exact opposite of the stereotype. She was identifying players by name, plotting her strategy for snagging a batting practice ball, and referring to the New England Sports Network commentators as if they were long-lost friends. Izzie and I were dumfounded as she blinked her glitter-covered eyelids with excitement. This was a pink hat we could respect, and I knew I had to recant my entire position in this column.

But hold on one second...

Shortly after we took our seats along the left field line, a family of five barreled into the row. Mom was wearing a pink hat, as was daughter, while dad, son, and grandpa were all sporting the proper Red Sox colors. I was prepared to give the pink hats the benefit of the doubt after the encounter with our friend, but then mom lifted her sausage sandwich in my direct line of vision. Then she lifted her arm to point out a bird in center field. Then she took her jacket off and replaced it with a sweatshirt. Then she shoved her ponytail in my face to take pictures of everything but the field. Then she hoisted her daughter onto her lap. If she saw five pitches during the entire game, I’d be shocked. Suddenly I realized that she wasn’t proudly touting the Red Sox with her hat, but rather she had chosen the most palatable article of clothing for a boring night at the ballpark. The stereotype lives, and our friend near the field was just a pink hat anomaly.

Then the pièce de résistance...

It was sometime in the 5th when I heard Izzie grumble. I looked up, and there before me on the Jumbotron was this advertisement for an upcoming Orioles promotion:

That’s right… Women’s Cap Day on May 6th at Camden Yards. Pink hats for the first 22,000 female fans through the gates. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Part of me wants to go to the game that day just for the satisfaction of saying, “No, thanks,” or just taking the hat and having a ritual burning with all of my pink-hat-hating friends later. But I don’t know if I can because the thought of sitting in a stadium with 22,000 pink hats makes my blood boil. If management wants to appeal to women, how about giving away women’s cut t-shirts? I love a free t-shirt as much as the next person, but not when they’re all extra larges that hang to your knees. So what about that? Huh? Why does it have to be pink? Do they think that women will come in droves for the chance at a free pink hat? C’mon! Give us more credit than that!

But I’ll stop for now. I hear there’s a sale on pink fanny packs, and I just have to have one.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Belly Itcher

From the mind of a 9-year-old…

“Okay, so here I am at second base. I’m hot. Our orange shirts match the dirt. Look at those funny little holes my cleats make. If I just move my foot back and forth, back and forth… well, look at that! It’s like a rainbow. Wow! Uh-oh, Coach just yelled at me to stop drawing with my shoe. I better look up… shoot, that scary girl is at bat. Hit it to me! I’m ready!”

Twenty years later…

“Okay, so here I am at third. God, my quads are killing me. My back too. Which reminds me, I forgot to call my PCP today for that referral. Oh, there’s a big rock in the dirt. Let me pick that up and throw it to the side. Someone could really get hurt out here. I hope I don’t trip and skin my knee. That will look terrible when I’m in my meeting tomorrow. Oh sh**, that big guy is at bat. Oh, don’t hit it at me. I don’t think I can move.”

Cheers from a 9-year-old's bench…

“We want a pitcher, not a belly itcher!”

“Hey, batta-batta…suhhhhh-wing… batta-batta!”

“I see a hole out there! I see a hole out there! I see an H-O-L-E HOLE out there!”

Twenty years later…

“Don’t pull something!”

“You hit this, I’ll never ask you for another TPS report!”

“Only a few more outs and then we can go get beers!”

A 9-year-old after the game…

“When’s our next game, Coach? Huh? Huh?”

Twenty years later…

“Whew… thank God I have a week to recover before we play again. Where’s my Advil?”

Monday, April 23, 2007

Walk The Line

Sure, it’s absurd. Crazy maybe. But is there any other recourse?

Barry Bonds, one of baseball’s purported greats, has tarnished the game more than any other player on the road to The Record. When he surpassed Mark McGwire in homeruns and bicep size, we cared for a millisecond. The Mark-and-Sammy Show had captivated our attention a few years before, so the new homerun race was a bit of a yawn. But now we’re taking notice because he stands on the verge of breaking the record of all records. Two names were synonymous with the career homerun record – Ruth and Aaron. Babe and Hank may have had their foibles, but they were pure players. There were no injections, no creams, just pure bat-on-ball heroics. Barry Bonds passed the Babe last year and now he’s 15 away from the Hammer. No player deserves less.

For all of the arguments about the nebulous rules Major League Baseball had in place during the heyday of steroids, there’s one simple truth: they all knew performance enhancing drugs were wrong, even if they weren’t illegal. When I’m at the ballpark, I don’t care if the first baseman gets drunk after every game. I don’t care if the catcher has a mistress in every city. And I don’t care if the left fielder placed a few side bets. What I care about is that nothing taints the sanctity of baseball. Mess with the muscle and might and you’re messing with the game itself.

Barry Bonds doesn’t deserve to be enshrined in the Hall of Fame. He doesn’t deserve the uniform on his back. And he certainly doesn’t deserve to hold The Record. But is there any way to stop this potential upheaval? There is. Call it a gentleman’s agreement between players, managers, and fans. When Bonds steps to the plate, pitch him outside, not for fear of a shot to the stands, but to keep the statisticians from scribbling in an at-bat. No at-bats, no hits. No hits, no homeruns. No homeruns, no record, and Bonds pays for his crimes. What better way to punish Bonds than to frustrate him at the one thing he was always able to do? We all knew you could hit, Barry, but you didn’t need to jack them into the stratosphere for us to remember you.

Time is running out. Pitchers, when Bonds comes to the plate, walk him. Managers, even if his walk loads the bases, and some phenom who grew up idolizing Bonds is poised in the on-deck circle, give him a base. Fans, don’t float your boats in the Cove waiting for Barry’s next bomb. He’s not going to retire in shame. Bud Selig can’t banish him. But keep him from swinging that bat with his oversized arms and his inflated ego, and Barry will be nothing more than an asterisk in a very sad period in our nation’s pastime.

Sure, it may not be practical. It may be ridiculous. But on that long, lonely walk to first, with the air filled with boos and chants, make Barry Bonds realize he should have walked the line.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Let The Rivalry Begin

The time has come once again to renew the rivalry, and in honor of the first match-up of the season between the Red Sox and the Yankees, here are some reasons to root for them, root against them, or finally find the time to practice that recorder you put down in the third grade.

In no particular order...

Top 4 Reasons To Root Against The Yankees

1. You taught Jason Varitek everything he knows about fighting, Miyagi-san.

2. Jason Giambi borrowed your deodorant.

3. Derek Jeter put a dead frog in your sleeping bag during a slumber party.

4. A-Rod used the Revlon long-lasting sampler on his lips and then put it back.

Top 4 Reasons To Root Against The Red Sox

1. Even your mother won't pay you $50 million just to talk to you.

2. Curt Schilling was your roommate and he never washed his socks.

3. You really like Derek Jeter’s Driven.

4. The “Cowboy This" tattoo seemed like a good idea at the time.

Top 4 Reasons To Root Against Both Teams

1. You’re from the West Coast and you just want ESPN to show the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, OC, California, USA, Earth, Milky Way.

2. The gyroball is making you very, very, sleeeeepyyyy…

3. You’re Aaron ****ing Boone, for God’s sake, almighty hero of Game 7, and you’re now a pinch hitter for the Marlins.

4. Wait, there are other teams?

Top 4 Reasons Not To Give A Damn About This Stupid Rivalry

1. Andre Agassi smacked you in the face with a tennis racket.

2. You’re just Manny being Manny.

3. You’re sitting in a Sperm Donors Anonymous Meeting with Tom Brady and Kevin Federline.

4. You just saved a bunch of money on your car insurance.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

A Band-Aid For The Heart

It’s hard to comprehend that the worst of events happen on days that start off just like any other day. It seems there would have to be some clue, some foreboding, but there’s not. On Monday, alarm clocks went off for 32 people just like they had the Friday before. These people got dressed, ate breakfast, and brushed their teeth just like we all did. But then in the blink of an eye, everything changed and 32 lives were snuffed out. Now a collegiate community must struggle with unspeakable grief while a nation mourns with them, suppressing the knowledge that this could have happened anywhere to any of us on any normal morning.

In the wake of tragedy like this, sports are trivial. It seems disrespectful to care about scores and rankings when everything is falling apart. Sports are a part of normalcy, and it seems like nothing will ever be normal again.

But there is a healing power in sports. It’s their very normalcy that helps people go on. They act as a bridge between an innocent yesterday and an uncertain future because they are a constant. After September 11th, baseball and football provided an escape, something to focus on when the tragedy seemed too big to fathom. There were smiles and chatter about homeruns or touchdowns and it didn’t matter how fleeting those smiles were or how the chatter always led back to the real-life nightmare. For a few minutes during that fateful autumn, sports were like band-aids on broken hearts.

Virginia Tech is known for sports. Whether you’re a fan of the Hokies or not, you can’t help but respect their tenacity, their pride, and the spirit of competition that thrives in Blacksburg. And it’s that same spirit that will be a blessing to the community as a whole as they face the unthinkable. Five teams will compete on behalf of Virginia Tech this weekend, in memory of those who died and in honor of those who live. Their tradition of athletic excellence will provide an escape, a focus, a chance to rise together as one. And in those normal moments when students, faculty, families, and fans are rooting for the home team, there will be some healing.

Yes, they’re just games, but sometimes those games are small reasons to put one sad foot in front of the other.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

A Few Words

I’ve never said this before. The sense of rivalry was always too great. But today, all of that is in a far away place, inconsequential and meaningless in light of what has happened. I’ve never spoken these words, but I will now.

I’m rooting for you, Virginia Tech… and praying for you.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Testing The Mettle

In the sport of running, the brain is the toughest competitor. Pushing yourself through the pain for just one more step, then two, then ten to get to the finish line can be the ultimate test of your mettle. No one will criticize you if you don’t fight just a little harder because there are many who never take up the challenge, but by far the worst disappointment is your own if you give up.

When my alarm went off at 6:10 a.m. on Sunday morning and I heard buckets of water pouring from the roof, the last thing I wanted to do was run a 5K. I had agreed to do the race with a group of friends even though I have an aversion to any distance running over 50 yards. The good cause and the free t-shirt are usually good motivators for me to do these things, but with a nor’easter slamming the city, there was a split second when not even the kids we were running for and what would become my 32nd sleeping t-shirt were enough to make me want to face the elements. Nevertheless, my friends and I persevered and made our way down to Hains Point.

The minute we stepped out of the car, we were soaked. The rain rushed at us sideways and the wind was searing. To our right, the Anacostia River lapped over the sidewalk in short bursts, reminding us that this was no passing storm. We considered collecting our goodie bags and heading straight to brunch, but we had gotten up at the crack of dawn for a good cause, so we made our way to the starting line.

As I was running, I thought about the men and women who would be running the Boston Marathon today and what drives them to press on no matter what the conditions. It takes something special to push your body to the brink and there’s a unique satisfaction that comes from testing your own limits. For 45 minutes, I walked more than I ran and had no grand delusions that I could ever include myself in the same class as these elite athletes, but for a split second as I was chugging towards the finish line, I understood the value of competing against yourself because sometimes you end up surprised by what you can do.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Daddy's Little Girl

Dear Mr. Micelli,

I hope this finds you and Angela doing well. With the advent of Clorox Disposable Wipes and the Swiffer WetJet, I’m sure you find yourself with a lot of time on your hands to enjoy the simple things in life. It’s a shame that the St. Louis Cardinals didn’t invite you back for the World Series celebration, being one of their most moderately-talented pitchers in the 70’s and all, but I’m sure they’ll lift that restraining order soon.

I’m writing to you today to express a concern about your dear daughter. As you know, Samantha has grown into an attractive, young woman and she is clearly the product of a devoted father and stepmother. She has inherited your devotion to baseball and has done her best to make pitchers feel good about their game. She has gleaned from Angela’s business sense and has decided to market her own line of clothing that will rid the world of wardrobe malfunctions once and for all. Her altruistic spirit is really something to be proud of.

However, I fear that she may not be able to handle the fame and fortune that will surely follow this ingenious undertaking. I can’t wait to sit down in those jeans with the rhinestones embedded in the back pockets and I know this dress will be a real hit at my friend’s wedding, but millions of women just like me will be clamoring for this couture and I just wonder if Samantha will be able handle the success.

Rest assured though… I will tell all of my friends not to overwhelm Samantha with their orders so that she has time to absorb the magnitude of her venture.

My aunt sends her best to Mona and Jonathan.

Sincerely,

M. Rossini

P.S. Billy thanks you for the Carl Pavano autograph. Unfortunately, it hasn’t done very well on E-Bay.

The Glorious Future

NBC and CBS have made their decision. They did not pander to the almighty buck by keeping one of their cash cows, Don Imus, on the air. Instead they stared sexism in the face and made the tough call. Well done. This is going to usher in a glorious new era of change, and as a female athlete and fan, I can’t wait…

• to watch the 2008 Women’s NCAA Tournament on network television when CBS activates its rights to broadcast the women’s games as well as the men’s.

• for the CBS-owned WFAN to air the 2008 Women’s NCAA Tournament on the radio, which it did not do this year, not even the Rutgers games.

• for NBC Sports to change the main page of its website to remove their only reference to women's athletics being “Cheerleader of the Week.”

• to see both media giants writhing with jealousy because ABC acquired the broadcast rights to the 2007 Women’s World Cup in September and they didn’t.

Gives you chills, doesn’t it?

What’s that, you say? Nobody watches women’s sports? Not exciting enough? No money in it? Well, gee, isn’t that just a little bit sexist?

This is your new world, NBC and CBS. Time to put your money where your mouth is.

The Headlines

The Rutgers women’s basketball team did not deserve to be the butt of cruel, prejudicial jokes, but the players also do not deserve to be synonymous with the fall of Imus.

Don Imus’ commentary has always been extreme, but the response to his insensitive comments last week has been equally so. Imus should have been punished. His commentary needed to be checked. However, his dismissal from MSNBC is not the answer. It’s an extreme solution to problems that are often fought on extreme levels. The need for healing is great nationwide, but the only way to do it is by dialing back the battering ram of media and engaging all sides in even-keeled discussions.

It’s a double-edged sword. Keep Imus on the air and racism and sexism persist. Take him off the air and racism and sexism still persist. Something needs to change, but Imus’ firing is not going to do it. What will be the follow-up? Who’s going to start the dialogue of change? There are a lot of people stepping up to vilify Imus, but who’s stepping up to formulate the lesson we should take from all of this? Who will help us move forward?

Bueller?

Sadly, Rutgers still ends up on the losing side in all of this. The team will never be rid of this shadow, which they did nothing to instigate and nothing to perpetuate. The situation should not have been overlooked by any means, but it snowballed and now every broadcast or every column about a Rutgers game or a Rutgers player for the next several years will always include this sad footnote.

And this is an unfortunate chapter for women’s athletics as well. Female athletes finally make the front page, but it has nothing to do with a championship victory or an amazing tournament run. They've come so far and achieved so much, but this is not how female athletes want to make headlines.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

By The Numbers

3. 9. 23. 13. 99. 42.

No, it’s not a string of lottery numbers.

Dale Earnhardt. Mia Hamm. Michael Jordan. Dan Marino. Wayne Gretzky. Jackie Robinson.

Numbers and sports go hand in hand. They serve a practical purpose, helping officials, coaches, participants, and fans know who’s playing at any given moment, but they’re also imbued with much greater meaning than telling who’s on first and what’s on second. Players are attached to those numerals they wear on the backs of their jerseys, and they all have their own stories to tell about how those random digits came to be the defining symbol of their efforts, abilities, superstitions, and careers.

My own story is simple. I chose 12 because I was 12 when I first started playing organized sports. At the time, I didn’t have any major feelings about numbers. I knew them only as fractions and square roots, so when pressed for a choice, my age seemed to be the best solution. I still hadn’t bonded with 12 when the next season rolled around, but because I had been the only one to wear that uniform so far, I chose 12 again. From that point on, I was hooked. I was 12 whenever I could get it, and when I had to wear 6 and 24, I rationalized by multiplying and dividing to get to my beloved digit.

Players at all levels have different reasons, both logical and ludicrous, for choosing their digits, but each player respects how important the numbers are. Fans follow suit, wearing the numerals just as proudly, whether it’s a father sporting the number of his daughter or a diehard walking around in a replica jersey. The numbers embody something special, something that is hard to put into words, something that is often ethereal when it comes to honoring legends. Who hasn’t seen a simple sticker of the number 3, red and slanted to the right, and not thought of Dale Earnhardt? Isn’t the number 23 synonymous with Michael Jordan? The numbers are arbitrary, but the career achievements they represent are not.

On Sunday, baseball players from every major league team will don the number 42 for the first time in ten years to honor Jackie Robinson, the athlete and the pioneer. There are a lot of things that will be done to commemorate this momentous date. Scores of inspiring interviews, articles, and vignettes will be produced, but there is a beauty in the simplicity of 42. Whether it’s sewn onto the backs of ballplayers’ shirts or scribbled on the inside brim of a fan’s cap, a number is worth a thousand words.

So on Sunday, simply remember 42.

And if you play the lottery with those numbers at the top, remember where you got them.

Monday, April 9, 2007

Laughter's Not Always The Best Medicine

The punishment for Don Imus has been handed down, but he’s not the only one who should bear the brunt of the responsibility. He’s like that guy at the cocktail party who tells an inappropriate joke but everyone laughs because they’re either uncomfortable or worse yet, they think it’s funny. Who’s to blame? Imus is a public figure with a huge forum, so he should continue to be held accountable for his actions, but so should all of his listeners. He never would have said what he did if he thought it wouldn’t get a laugh.

I’m not defending Imus and I’m not vilifying his listeners, but we’re all guilty of believing stereotypes, harboring misconceptions, and chuckling at the expense of various groups, so there’s plenty of fault to go around.

It’s unfortunate that all of this has to come in the wake of a stellar season in which a group of talented, inspiring, young women achieved extraordinary feats of athleticism, but maybe all of this ugliness will make people see that we haven’t come as far as we would like to believe.

In The Name of The Babe, The Mick, and The Splendid Splinter…

In the past week, I’ve spent more than 12 hours at major league baseball parks, not to mention at least 6 more watching games at home on television. Let’s add the time spent watching shows, reading articles, or just plain talking baseball, and I’d probably end up with 2 or 3 more. For those of you keeping score at your desk, that’s over 20 hours of baseball in a single week, almost a full day, without so much as a blink of an eye. So if I’m able to sit through all of that, then why is it that I fidgeted my way through one 90-minute Easter Sunday Mass?

When you think about it, going to church is a lot like going to a baseball game. The main players are wearing colorful uniforms. Ushers hand you a program when you walk in, and you have to stand in line waiting for food and alcohol. The organ is loud, and the singers are off-key. Young and old, there are people from all walks of life with clothes ranging from shabby to prim. It helps if you know the lingo, rules, and rituals, but you can still get something out of it if you don’t. The seats are uncomfortable, and you may end up with an obstructed view. Both are a little boring at times, so it can be tough to pay attention. It’s hard to walk through the door without shelling out a little dough, and going to Communion is a little like the 7th inning stretch. Plus there’s usually a whole lot of prayin’ going on.

I was brought up with two religions, Catholicism and sports, more specifically the church of baseball, and while I know that I’m not the first to ever compare faith in a higher power and faith in a game, this is the first time I’ve ever recognized the similarities for myself. And the more I thought about how complete my worship of sports is, the more I realized that much of what we feel about these games is handed down to us and taught to us in much the same way as religion. We believe in the spirit and the hope our teams possess, and even though it may be years, decades, or lifetimes without seeing the rewards for our faith, we would never trade our devotion or experience.

Sometimes I think I should be a little more faithful to my actual religion… after all, it would be hard to walk into a confessional and spin my attendance at three baseball games in a week, but my absence from Palm Sunday Mass. But it couldn’t hurt them to spice things up a little bit. Maybe if members of the congregation started the wave while wearing t-shirts with the names of their favorite saints, I might be a little more inclined to attend on a regular basis. Maybe if there was a mid-Mass game like “Test your IQ” with prizes, it might up the excitement factor. And seriously, wouldn't it be great if the lector introduced the priest just once by saying, “Now pinch hitting for Jesus… !”

I'm just saying... these are options.

Friday, April 6, 2007

Ignorance on the A.M. Dial

Growing up in the Tri-state area, I came to know Don Imus as the king of A.M. radio. Supported by his band of merry men, Imus would provide commentary and cut-ups about anything you could imagine. His humor was irreverent, but he always seemed to fall just short of the line of impropriety. That is, until now.

On Wednesday, Imus mentioned he had watched part of the championship game between Tennessee and Rutgers and then he and his cronies threw out a string of racist, sexist, and insensitive comments to describe the Scarlet Knights. I’m not going to repeat the derogatory term used for the African-American members of the team because that just perpetuates the slight. I will say that to degrade a group of players, who had been fighting to stay alive as an upstart team, a group who exemplified the core values of athleticism, by using a stereotypical slur is like bursting their bubble with a sledgehammer. By far, the use of the racist description is the worst part of this incident, but it’s also the most obvious affront, the easiest to address and the easiest to rebuke.

The dialogue between Imus and his men was offensive on other levels as well. They referred to the Rutgers players as “hos” and then went on to compare them to the Toronto Raptors with one correcting the other that they looked more like the Grizzlies. For all of the progress that Title IX has provided, women’s sports are still struggling to surpass judgments on appearance. To compare the Scarlet Knights not only to whores, but also to NBA players was to undermine their hard-fought bid for the title. Imus went on to say that the Tennessee team was “cute,” which also undercuts their achievement and is annoying in its own right, but put up against the Rutgers comments, he’s implying that it was okay for the Tennessee team to be competitive on the court because they were feminine enough. I guess make-up, bows, and perfect ponytails make women’s sports palatable. Appearance is not a part of sports, but somehow it always sneaks into the conversation whenever we’re talking about female athletes.

There’s one other point about this incident that is perhaps the most hurtful. The young women who took the court for Rutgers are really just a group of college kids, looking to have fun in a sport they love on the national stage. These aren’t professional athletes. These are 18-22 year-olds who have fragile psyches and who don’t have a full comprehension of the real world that waits for them. If an adult were the recipient of comments like these, it’d be easier to just let them roll of the back and call it ignorance. For a kid who has just had the greatest ride of her life, it’s like a punch to the gut. During March Madness, it’s hard not to think of all of these athletes as professionals because of the hype, but they’re still just kids playing a game we just happen to pay attention to.

I’ve never heard of Don Imus being a truly mean-spirited man. He does tremendous things for charity, loves his family, and just tries to make people laugh when they’re sitting in traffic in the morning. But this went well past what can be considered acceptable boundaries of humor, and chalking it up to a joke doesn’t make the situation any better. He and his crew should apologize.

So congratulations, Rutgers. You gave fans a March to remember, and hopefully you’ll be able to forget the ugliness that followed. And since you’re in the Tri-state area, stay away from the A.M. dial.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

The Perfect Date

We live in a world where text messaging and instant messaging are not only acceptable forms of communication, but seem to be the norm. A phone call or an e-mail are almost archaic when it comes to getting to know someone. But in spite of the new-fangled ways to meet romantic partners in crime, people still tend to fall back on the traditional dinner to really hash out their similarities and differences. But staring at a potential prospect from across the table, measuring the silences and counting the pauses, is hardly the best way to find out if the person is compatible. You sit there in the light glow of a loud restaurant, thinking more about whether the remnants of the meal you spent more time deliberating over than most leaders spend over peace treaties are visible when you smile. The tag of the new shirt you bought for the occasion is scratching your neck and you’re praying that the air conditioning comes back on so that you’re not sweating about the fact that you ate too much bread and might release a belch that would put many men to shame. You feel you’re maintaining too much eye contact, scared that your dinner date might think you’re planning the second birthday party of your future child when really you’re afraid to look away lest you seem disinterested. The baby crying in the corner and the tray of plates that just clattered to the floor in the kitchen batter your eardrums and block out any of the words this stranger is mouthing just three feet from you. By the end of the date, you know name, rank, and serial number, but little else because all you can recollect is that you were bloated, distracted, self-conscious, and uncomfortable. But never fear because there is the perfect alternative to that heartburn-inducing date and you can find it at the ballpark.

Attire is usually the first concern of any girl who is prepping for a date. That new shirt needs a new pair of pants, but the matching shoes are scuffed and that other earring is no where to be found. There are phone-a-friends and Gallup polls to determine the best color combinations, and Tim Gunn himself could have given you his approval, but you’re still going to walk out the door feeling like you just rummaged through the dressing room at Filene’s Basement. But if you’re heading to the ballpark, you’ve got no such worries! Jeans or shorts, t-shirt or tank-top, sandals or flip-flops. The more casual you are, the more the cuteness factor soars. Add a hat, and you’re the perfect fan. Of course, it bears mentioning that team attire is preferable, and that does not include pink, but as long as you’re not wearing heels and a shirt you borrowed from a hooker, you’ll be good to go in less time than it takes the pitcher to walk to the mound.

Food choices can lead to a lot of angst on a date. If you order the salad, will your date think you’re either A.) a vegetarian, B.) being considerate of the bill, or C.) allergic to everything else. Order the messiest ribs you can find and you’re just a glutton for punishment because not only are you going Dutch, but you’ll also most likely end up with stock in moist-towelettes. You really can never win, but tell the friendliest Aramark staff member that you want a dog, nachos, and a Coke and you’re off scott-free. Sure, there’s the potential for an errant squirt from a mustard packet or a dollop of faux cheese landing on your jeans, but that’s not unheard of at a baseball game, so you can just go on eating and cheering. Watch that au jus trickle into your lap at a fancy restaurant and you might as well ask for your half of the check.

If you’re on a first date, you met the lucky winner somehow. Whether it was online, in line, or through a friend, chances are there has been a modicum of conversation, but you probably haven’t gotten to that embarrassing accident you had in the second grade. That’s not really the kind of thing that pops up when you’re leaning across the tea light, praying your hair doesn’t ignite. But when you’re sitting ten rows up in the cheap seats, and you see the goofy teenager with Dippin’ Dots trip up the stairs, cue the funny anecdote that will make you both chuckle and help to find out where this stranger is really coming from. At a baseball game, conversation starters are everywhere, and God forbid you find yourself with nothing to talk about… just talk about the people around you and watch the game. There’s nothing worse than a lull in a dinner date, but there’s always something to see or poke fun of at the ballpark.

I would venture to say that the baseball game is the perfect date for all different levels of sports fans. Even if the only thing you know about baseball is that the pants are tight, it’s still a great venue to get to know someone. However, if you know the names of Pete Rose’s bookies and can provide the average number of times Bobby Cox picks his nose in a single Braves game, then chances are you’re looking for a fellow sports fan to share those tender moments and there’s no better place to weed them out than at the stadium. Cheering too much? Heckling too little? Questioning the scoreboard? Reaching for a Diet Coke? Then see your way to the turn-styles and leave your promotional giveaway behind for the true fans.

Some may shudder at the thought of spending four hours at a baseball game with someone you barely know. It can seem like an eternity if the conversation sours and the pitchers are dueling, but would you rather be counting the crumbs on the table of some swanky restaurant? Probably not.

Plus you never know… it could happen… you may end up wishing for extra innings.

Got any thoughts? Have you had a great baseball date? Have you blocked out the memory of a bad one? Or would you rather split the atom than go on a date at the ballpark? Post a comment and let us know!

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Night and Day


Walking into RFK Stadium the night after Opening Day was like having your alarm go off in the middle of a wonderful dream. Opening Day was a picture perfect afternoon for baseball in Washington, DC. Forty-thousand fans decked out in red, full of hope for a new season and full of faith in the Nationals. But on Tuesday night, you’d be lucky if you could hit a fan in red with one of those t-shirt launchers. And find a fan with an ounce of hope for 2007? You’d have an easier time asking Washingtonians to check their Blackberries at the gates. It was 9:02 pm, almost two hours after the first pitch, when the fans suddenly noticed there was a game going on thanks to Dmitri Young’s RBI walk. There was a little spark when Brian Schneider drove in a run with a sacrifice fly, but the attention spans were sucked right back out of the stadium as soon Ryan Church fouled out to the catcher.

What happened to all of the optimism from Opening Day? What happened to all of the optimism from two years ago when we were given the gift of a franchise? There were a lot of other cities vying for the Expos, but we got them and it’s time we stop taking them for granted, for better or for worse. We expect the Nationals to win, but the Nationals expect us to root for the home team. If they finish the season in last place, we can blame the management, coaches, players, and mascots, but we better shoulder a share of that blame as well. We all come to RFK with our old baseball allegiances, but we need to stop seeing the Nationals as a means to see our other teams play. We need to support the Nationals and give them a chance, and if that doesn’t work, then we need remember the nightmare that was a Washington without baseball.

Monday, April 2, 2007

It Ain't Over 'Til...

All through the land, there is quiet. The wrinkled brackets are marked with points, circles, x’s, and lines in red. The guy who chose his picks based on the average shoe sizes of the players is counting his winnings in his cubicle while the woman next to him balls up her compare-and-contrast worksheet and angrily hooks it into the wastebasket. When the boss walks by, he mistakes the silence for productivity, when in reality, the post-basketball malaise has set in. The madness is over… or is it?

Florida and Ohio State delivered a decent game. Hard-fought, well-played, though not classic. The Gators own the repeat, and Greg Oden can focus on the draft. The world will spin on for another year. But there’s another game still to be played, featuring a dynasty and an upstart. Pat Summit’s Lady Vols and C. Vivian Stringer’s Scarlet Knights, a number 1 seed and a number 4 seed respectively, will meet in a game that half as many viewers will watch on a network people have to pay for in order to be crowned the champions. Yet both teams are sure to stage a David and Goliath battle that will be worth a water-cooler conversation, if in fact anyone at the water-cooler tunes in.

Basketball is still basketball. The sizes and speeds may differ in the men’s and women’s games, but both generate an electricity in striving towards the same, simple goal which is to get the ball in the basket.

This is the very goal that gets America’s hearts racing every spring and to miss the grand finale in Cleveland on Tuesday night would be true madness.

Thoughts and Thanks

On HerSportsPOV’s opening day, I received many wonderful comments and insights, both written to me personally and posted on the site. There’s one message I’d like to mention in particular, and that came from one of my male friends who wrote three long paragraphs to my personal e-mail account to talk about pink hats as a major marketing tool, the management of the Nationals, and the District as a city of fair-weather fans. He brought up many good points that I look forward to debating with him, but there was one line that troubled me. He wrote, “Women (you are not included in this generalization) do not follow sports, period.” I know that on one hand, he was complimenting me by acknowledging my passion for sports as the exception to the rule, but why is this the rule? Furthermore, in suggesting that being a woman and being passionate about sports are mutually exclusive, he undermined any woman who does not fall in line with perceived stereotypes. In saying this, however, he also verbalized the statement I’m trying to prove wrong. My hypothesis is that women do follow sports, and judging from many of the people I heard from, I believe this is true.

I don’t mean to pick on my friend because I understand where he was coming from and what he was saying, and to be honest, I’d actually like to thank him for responding in such great detail. Yes, he was reading the columns of a pal, but it went beyond that because in taking the time to construct his own rebuttal, he proved the point that you can talk sports with a woman.

I’d also like to thank Sydney Trent, the author of “The Gal of Summer,” which I referenced on Monday. In an online chat on The Washington Post’s website, she posted my comment that included a link to HerSportsPOV.

Most of all, I’d like to thank everyone who visited HerSportsPOV on its first day. I hope you’ll make this site a part of every week.

Tradition and Transience

Today Washington, DC, will host an Opening Day game for the first time in over 30 years, but as Matt Swenson of The Washington Post’s Express noted in the March 23rd edition, very few people have been talking about it. Too many people are looking towards 2008 when the new stadium will be completed rather than waiting to see what the team can accomplish in its last year at RFK. But the problem is not that the District buzz is less, but rather that it will never be the same as it is in New York and Boston, as Swenson mentions, simply because Nats’ fans are different. In many ways, they are very similar to their Opening Day opponents, the underappreciated, much-mocked Florida Marlins.

The Florida Marlins have been the butt of jokes for 15 years. From the moment they took the field in bright teal hats to the year they bought their championship, from the infamous firesale that followed to their second such dumping after another ring. The Marlins may not have established themselves as a team to reckon with in spite of their victories, but they have certainly put themselves on the map as the marquis team to be talked about in ways good, bad, and embarrassing. It’s a shame, really, because the Marlins have always had a lot going for them, but they’ve never been able to develop a diehard fan base. Rings, rookies of the year, no-hitters… none of it has held the attention span of South Floridians for longer than it takes a sunburn to fade. The reason? Transience. The Marlins are the victims of a mobile society. Few people who live in South Florida hail from there originally, and if they do, they’re no more than second generation. They bring their baseball allegiances along with their Brooklyn and Boston accents. Any town with a winning team eventually catches the fever, and the Marlins have been embraced by the residents of the isthmus every once in a while, but for many people who were raised with the likes of Mantle, Williams, and Robinson, they just can’t throw out that dusty old ballcap in favor of a new teal model.

The same problem that has plagued the Marlins could end up being the Nats’ biggest crisis. Washington, DC, is a city composed of people from other places. Like Miami, the District does boast a population whose family trees mirror the evolution of a city, but they are also joined by a large number of people who move in and out of the District with each shift in government. The city was addicted to the Nationals in 2005, but it was part novelty, part opportunity… opportunity, that is, to see everyone’s favorite teams from other cities. The Marlins bring the Mets, Dodgers, and Giants to town, along with an occasional visit from the Yankees or Red Sox. The Nats do the exact same thing for Washington, and in the 15 years since the Marlins threw their first pitch, little has changed, so the hope for the District is circumspect at best.

So when the Nats and Marlins meet on Opening Day this afternoon, two strong teams will meet to carry on the tradition of baseball, with neither club owning the support they deserve. As it turns out, it’s easy for people to move from place to place, but much harder for them to disown their baseball roots.

The Rebuttal

I was getting ready to drive to Philadelphia when my phone buzzed with a text message at 8:32 on Saturday morning: “You MUST look at the cover of The Washington Post Magazine.” Being neither a subscriber nor a fan of buying the Sunday paper a day early, I wondered what my friend Kino found so riveting that it needed my attention right away. Then there was a second text message from him: “A woman who knows nothing about baseball, and could not care less, sets out to make herself a fan in a single season.” My curiosity was piqued, so I scrounged up a dollar and some change and walked up the street to Starbucks. I was so eager to read the magazine that I handed the money over to the barista as quickly as possible and was barely out the door before I started ripping open that yellow plastic to reach the magazine that was on top. And then I saw it… the pink glove on an outstretched arm above a field of regular-looking, leather models. I cringed, and I felt the color rise to my face. I tucked the magazine back in the folds of the paper and stormed back to my house. I tried to read bits and pieces of the article on my way to Philly, but I could only get through a few paragraphs before my blood pressure would spike and I’d have to put it down. Clearly it was something I would have to save until later when I had something throwable within reach.

For those readers not in the Washington, DC, metropolitan area, Sydney Trent’s cover story, entitled "The Gal of Summer" and deemed “The Experiment” chronicles her mission to become a baseball fan, particularly a Washington Nationals fan, in one season. Starting with Spring Training 2006 and ending on the second to last game of the year, Trent immersed herself in the facts, figures, and fantasy world that is baseball so that she could have a greater understanding of the sport that so captivated her husband and many of those around her. In one way, I admire Trent’s experiment because it’s certainly not a short one. Eight months of the year are consumed with baseball, so to jump into that ocean willingly is a feat many non-fans would shy away from. Furthermore, it would have been much easier to crack the fan base of a team that has already achieved a modicum of success, but instead she chose to follow the Nationals, a team that is trying to move past the shadows of its recent history while at the same time trying to make a new city fall in love with them. Trent took up that challenge, and I respect that. As a female baseball fan though, I don’t agree with many of the statements she made. Ultimately this is a personal story of how Trent perceived baseball and how she strived to change that perception. My problem lies in people thinking that Trent’s perceptions are somehow the norm for all women.

I won’t deny that women experience baseball, or any sport, differently from men. Trent’s quote from Dick Ebersol is right on the money. He said that women “ ‘want an attachment, a rooting interest.’ ” Bottom line, women want backstory. Perhaps it’s part of that maternal instinct to care and nurture; perhaps it’s because women seem to be more detail-oriented whereas men look for the big picture. Whatever it is, women view sports through a different lens. However, that’s only one aspect of our experience with the game. It’s not all about the warm and fuzzy feelings; it’s also about competition and performance. Last year, I bought a Ryan Zimmerman t-shirt. I vividly remember reading an article in The Washington Post in January 2006 about Zimmerman and his family, with a particular focus on his mother who suffers from Multiple Sclerosis. It tugged at my heartstrings because Zimmerman is clearly a young man who cares deeply for his family, and that appealed to me. I realized he was someone I could really root for. That said, there was another reason I liked Zimmerman. He’s a good baseball player. I was there when he hit the walk-off homer against the Marlins on the 4th of July last year. He’s actually more than good. He’s sensational, a franchise player, and that’s why I like sporting his jersey around town, not because he’s an all-around swell guy. I know lots of guys like that, but none whose last name I’d slap on the back of a t-shirt. I wear his number 11 because he’s a strong competitor in the game I love. Women may enjoy forming an attachment to athletes, but the raw, physical dynamics of the game still capture our attention as much as it does with male fans.

Elsewhere in her article, Trent discusses her husband’s use of the rally cap, a widely-held superstition that has been credited with many a comeback. She writes, “I’m finding these particular male rituals are rather, well, cute.” With one statement, she not only set up baseball fandom to be a giant fraternity, but also minimized the precious superstitions of the game by calling them “cute.” In terms of the former, we can all agree that professional baseball is a game played by men. There have been one or two young women who have cracked the enclave by playing minor league ball, but overall, it’s a man’s game. However, being a baseball fan is not, and the ritual of the rally cap or any other superstition is not limited to men and men alone. My own attire and any potential or existing jinxes (i.e. my refusal to wear a new Red Sox t-shirt for the rest of 2006 after I attended their September loss at Camden Yards) are regular topics of conversation in my house. I’m a level-headed person who balances her checkbook down to the penny, but I can look you dead in the eye and say these rituals, these superstitions, these traditions are real. And what’s more? They’re fun. These little quirks only add to the spirit and the experience of being at the ballpark, so they are neither “cute,” nor exclusively male.

Though I don’t agree with much in Trent’s article, what incensed me the most probably had little to do with her and more to do with The Washington Post’s decision to place a woman’s arm with a pink glove on the front, while printing the title of the magazine in a brilliant shade of the same color. Pink has its place in the world, but it does not belong in sports, and I resent its rampant use as the defining symbol of women’s involvement. This sentiment reached its peak when I saw a pink White Sox World Series cap enshrined in a glass case in Cooperstown. My problem with the hat was not so much the color, as much as the fact that owners, marketers, designers, and any of the powers-that-be think it’s the only way to get women interested in sports. Just throw out some pastels and we’ll come a-runnin’. It doesn’t work that way. When it became popular for men to get manicures, did the technicians whip out blue files and blue nail clippers? Somehow I doubt it. Using pink as the go-to color for anything sports related makes women look shallow and ignorant, as if we’re not capable of wearing the appropriate team colors, but women are capable of seeing much more in sports than color coordination.

Perhaps the most stunning line of all in Trent’s story was, “I know plenty of female sports fans, but I don’t know one who gets truly bent out of shape after a lost game.” I read that line after I returned from Philadelphia, where incidentally I had gone to see the Red Sox versus the Phillies in the final spring training game. My friend Izzie and I sat 22 rows from the field, in cute, women’s cut, Sox gear… i.e. no pink… cheering for our team, so you can certainly imagine why I would have been stymied reading that line after road-tripping specifically to see baseball. Trent followed up her statement, admitting, “But maybe they do.” You better believe they do. There are female fans like my friend and I who jump up when a player homers and those like us who wallow in a funk the day after a grueling loss. There are women who have a symbiotic relationship with their teams and to assume that they don’t exist is short-sighted.

Just as my frustration was reaching a high, it dawned on me. As easily as Trent could say that she doesn’t know any women who get upset after a team loses, I was on the verge of making an equally sweeping remark, saying that I don’t believe there are women who don’t care about sports. Having grown up playing and watching sports, I find this hard to fathom, but I know they are out there. Maybe I’m a bit of a baseball snob to assume that everyone gets the game, loves the game, and feels the game the same way that I do, and that if they don’t, then there’s something wrong with them. So after vowing to write a rebuttal to set the record straight on how women truly feel about the game, I realized that ultimately it was just another personal story of one woman’s perception of baseball and that perception is mine.

Both Sydney Trent and I are coming from different ends of the spectrum, and while there’s nothing wrong with either, I want people to know that both sides exist. I still stand by my repudiation of the color pink in sports, saying that it undermines female fans and the female population as a whole and I still don’t appreciate the condescension in describing the trappings of the game, but I can appreciate one very important fact, which is that every woman is entitled to her own sports point of view.