Friday, April 20, 2007

Let The Rivalry Begin

The time has come once again to renew the rivalry, and in honor of the first match-up of the season between the Red Sox and the Yankees, here are some reasons to root for them, root against them, or finally find the time to practice that recorder you put down in the third grade.

In no particular order...

Top 4 Reasons To Root Against The Yankees

1. You taught Jason Varitek everything he knows about fighting, Miyagi-san.

2. Jason Giambi borrowed your deodorant.

3. Derek Jeter put a dead frog in your sleeping bag during a slumber party.

4. A-Rod used the Revlon long-lasting sampler on his lips and then put it back.

Top 4 Reasons To Root Against The Red Sox

1. Even your mother won't pay you $50 million just to talk to you.

2. Curt Schilling was your roommate and he never washed his socks.

3. You really like Derek Jeter’s Driven.

4. The “Cowboy This" tattoo seemed like a good idea at the time.

Top 4 Reasons To Root Against Both Teams

1. You’re from the West Coast and you just want ESPN to show the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, OC, California, USA, Earth, Milky Way.

2. The gyroball is making you very, very, sleeeeepyyyy…

3. You’re Aaron ****ing Boone, for God’s sake, almighty hero of Game 7, and you’re now a pinch hitter for the Marlins.

4. Wait, there are other teams?

Top 4 Reasons Not To Give A Damn About This Stupid Rivalry

1. Andre Agassi smacked you in the face with a tennis racket.

2. You’re just Manny being Manny.

3. You’re sitting in a Sperm Donors Anonymous Meeting with Tom Brady and Kevin Federline.

4. You just saved a bunch of money on your car insurance.

2 comments:

Lori said...

Go Red Sox!! Spank those Yanks! I have always been an avid baseball fan. A girl who likes sports, go figure. :)

Anonymous said...

Who do I want to see win???

Whoever is playing AGAINST the Yankees!!! ...even if they are the "best team money can buy"!