Dear Mr. Micelli,
I hope this finds you and Angela doing well. With the advent of Clorox Disposable Wipes and the Swiffer WetJet, I’m sure you find yourself with a lot of time on your hands to enjoy the simple things in life. It’s a shame that the St. Louis Cardinals didn’t invite you back for the World Series celebration, being one of their most moderately-talented pitchers in the 70’s and all, but I’m sure they’ll lift that restraining order soon.
I’m writing to you today to express a concern about your dear daughter. As you know, Samantha has grown into an attractive, young woman and she is clearly the product of a devoted father and stepmother. She has inherited your devotion to baseball and has done her best to make pitchers feel good about their game. She has gleaned from Angela’s business sense and has decided to market her own line of clothing that will rid the world of wardrobe malfunctions once and for all. Her altruistic spirit is really something to be proud of.
However, I fear that she may not be able to handle the fame and fortune that will surely follow this ingenious undertaking. I can’t wait to sit down in those jeans with the rhinestones embedded in the back pockets and I know this dress will be a real hit at my friend’s wedding, but millions of women just like me will be clamoring for this couture and I just wonder if Samantha will be able handle the success.
Rest assured though… I will tell all of my friends not to overwhelm Samantha with their orders so that she has time to absorb the magnitude of her venture.
My aunt sends her best to Mona and Jonathan.
Sincerely,
M. Rossini
P.S. Billy thanks you for the Carl Pavano autograph. Unfortunately, it hasn’t done very well on E-Bay.
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