The Perfect Date

We live in a world where text messaging and instant messaging are not only acceptable forms of communication, but seem to be the norm. A phone call or an e-mail are almost archaic when it comes to getting to know someone. But in spite of the new-fangled ways to meet romantic partners in crime, people still tend to fall back on the traditional dinner to really hash out their similarities and differences. But staring at a potential prospect from across the table, measuring the silences and counting the pauses, is hardly the best way to find out if the person is compatible. You sit there in the light glow of a loud restaurant, thinking more about whether the remnants of the meal you spent more time deliberating over than most leaders spend over peace treaties are visible when you smile. The tag of the new shirt you bought for the occasion is scratching your neck and you’re praying that the air conditioning comes back on so that you’re not sweating about the fact that you ate too much bread and might release a belch that would put many men to shame. You feel you’re maintaining too much eye contact, scared that your dinner date might think you’re planning the second birthday party of your future child when really you’re afraid to look away lest you seem disinterested. The baby crying in the corner and the tray of plates that just clattered to the floor in the kitchen batter your eardrums and block out any of the words this stranger is mouthing just three feet from you. By the end of the date, you know name, rank, and serial number, but little else because all you can recollect is that you were bloated, distracted, self-conscious, and uncomfortable. But never fear because there is the perfect alternative to that heartburn-inducing date and you can find it at the ballpark.

Attire is usually the first concern of any girl who is prepping for a date. That new shirt needs a new pair of pants, but the matching shoes are scuffed and that other earring is no where to be found. There are phone-a-friends and Gallup polls to determine the best color combinations, and Tim Gunn himself could have given you his approval, but you’re still going to walk out the door feeling like you just rummaged through the dressing room at Filene’s Basement. But if you’re heading to the ballpark, you’ve got no such worries! Jeans or shorts, t-shirt or tank-top, sandals or flip-flops. The more casual you are, the more the cuteness factor soars. Add a hat, and you’re the perfect fan. Of course, it bears mentioning that team attire is preferable, and that does not include pink, but as long as you’re not wearing heels and a shirt you borrowed from a hooker, you’ll be good to go in less time than it takes the pitcher to walk to the mound.

Food choices can lead to a lot of angst on a date. If you order the salad, will your date think you’re either A.) a vegetarian, B.) being considerate of the bill, or C.) allergic to everything else. Order the messiest ribs you can find and you’re just a glutton for punishment because not only are you going Dutch, but you’ll also most likely end up with stock in moist-towelettes. You really can never win, but tell the friendliest Aramark staff member that you want a dog, nachos, and a Coke and you’re off scott-free. Sure, there’s the potential for an errant squirt from a mustard packet or a dollop of faux cheese landing on your jeans, but that’s not unheard of at a baseball game, so you can just go on eating and cheering. Watch that au jus trickle into your lap at a fancy restaurant and you might as well ask for your half of the check.

If you’re on a first date, you met the lucky winner somehow. Whether it was online, in line, or through a friend, chances are there has been a modicum of conversation, but you probably haven’t gotten to that embarrassing accident you had in the second grade. That’s not really the kind of thing that pops up when you’re leaning across the tea light, praying your hair doesn’t ignite. But when you’re sitting ten rows up in the cheap seats, and you see the goofy teenager with Dippin’ Dots trip up the stairs, cue the funny anecdote that will make you both chuckle and help to find out where this stranger is really coming from. At a baseball game, conversation starters are everywhere, and God forbid you find yourself with nothing to talk about… just talk about the people around you and watch the game. There’s nothing worse than a lull in a dinner date, but there’s always something to see or poke fun of at the ballpark.

I would venture to say that the baseball game is the perfect date for all different levels of sports fans. Even if the only thing you know about baseball is that the pants are tight, it’s still a great venue to get to know someone. However, if you know the names of Pete Rose’s bookies and can provide the average number of times Bobby Cox picks his nose in a single Braves game, then chances are you’re looking for a fellow sports fan to share those tender moments and there’s no better place to weed them out than at the stadium. Cheering too much? Heckling too little? Questioning the scoreboard? Reaching for a Diet Coke? Then see your way to the turn-styles and leave your promotional giveaway behind for the true fans.

Some may shudder at the thought of spending four hours at a baseball game with someone you barely know. It can seem like an eternity if the conversation sours and the pitchers are dueling, but would you rather be counting the crumbs on the table of some swanky restaurant? Probably not.

Plus you never know… it could happen… you may end up wishing for extra innings.

Got any thoughts? Have you had a great baseball date? Have you blocked out the memory of a bad one? Or would you rather split the atom than go on a date at the ballpark? Post a comment and let us know!