I didn’t ask my parents for a pony when I was a little girl. In fact, I don’t like horses much at all. I can appreciate their beauty and majesty from afar, but they scare the daylights out of me up close. I went horseback-riding once, and though my horse was gentle, he had a severe bladder problem that made him stop every ten minutes to relieve himself. My best friend caught the entire debacle on film because she was proficient enough to hold the reins and balance a video camera. Show off.
But with the Kentucky Derby this weekend, I felt it was important to talk about horses, though not in terms of racing styles, doping tests, or betting odds. I want to talk about their names. I may not like horses, but I find their monikers fascinating. One of the horses in the Derby tomorrow is called Storm in May. How strong is that! What do they call him for short? Stormy? May? Baby? How did Miller end up with that name over Bud, Coors, or Heineken? Why did the owner of Nobiz Like Showbiz throw grammar out the window?
A friend of mine is having a baby, and there have been names flying back and forth across the cubicles for weeks, but there’s a lot to consider… like will this name be the subject of ridicule on the playground… will it yield a nickname that will scar his psyche for life… will it be forever misspelled and butchered by people who don’t understand basic phonics rules? Planning a military operation might be easier than choosing an appropriate name for a newborn.
But when it comes to naming a horse, you’re free to do whatever you please! How else can you explain the Derby entry, Imawildandcrazyguy?
I’ve often thought about what I’d name my Derby racer… well, okay, not often… but every once in a while I’ll think of names like…
Vertically Challenged
Flux Capacitor
Junk in the Trunk
The possibilities are endless.
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